The Quest for Faith

            There are no more honest words in all of Scripture than those of the father who brings his son to Jesus for healing: “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mk. 9:24). There is also no shortage of people who find themselves in the same situation today.  I recently came across a passage written by Flannery O’Connor in The Habit of Being that reflects on how difficult it can be to believe.  I’d like to share it with you here:

            “I think there is no suffering greater than what is caused by the doubts of those who want to believe.  I know what torment this is, but I can only see it, in myself anyway, as the process by which faith is deepened.  A faith that just accepts is a child’s faith and all right for children, but eventually you have to grow religiously as every other way, though some never do.

            What people don’t realize is how much religion costs.  They think faith is a big electric blanket, when of course it is the cross.  It is much harder to believe than not to believe.  If you feel you can’t believe, you must at least do this: keep an open mind.  Keep it open toward faith, keep wanting it, keep asking for it, and leave the rest to God.

            When we get our spiritual house in order, we’ll be dead.  This goes on.  You arrive at enough certainty to be able to make your way, but it is making it in darkness.  Don’t expect faith to clear things up for you.  It is trust, not certainty.” (as quoted in For All the Saints, Vol. III)

            So – what do you think?  Do you agree with Mr. O’Connor?  Personally, I think he makes a number of very good points.  While I have never been in the position of not believing, I did go through a time when I had a lot of questions that I wanted answered – particularly about the Bible.  It was a time of wrestling and struggle and anguished prayers.  It was hard work, just as he says.  Yet, when I came out on the other side of it, my faith was stronger than it was before.

            During this season of resurrection we will hear about those who had trouble believing that Jesus is risen, and those who believed right away.  Understandably, there are far more who had trouble believing.  We will hear about Thomas, who is forever known as the doubting one, even though he only wanted what the others already had – a chance to see and touch the risen Jesus.  We will also hear about any number of disciples who do not believe what the others tell them.  After all, do we ever expect anybody to rise from the dead?

            Generally speaking, none of the disciples believe that Jesus is risen until they actually encounter him.  It is only after they see him and talk to him and eat with him and touch him on several different occasions that they finally believe that he is risen from the dead.

            We will also hear about Paul (formerly known as Saul), who not only doesn’t believe in Jesus but persecutes those who do.  The fact that they believe seems to make him angry, and he only believes in Jesus himself after a dramatic conversion experience where he meets Jesus in a vision on the road.

            Close to the end of the gospel of John, we find these words: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe” (Jn. 20:29).  We don’t have the benefit of actually seeing and touching the risen Jesus.  What we do have is the witness of others who saw him and touched him and received the Holy Spirit.  And some of us get to have experiences that greatly strengthen our faith.

            However, for those who still struggle, Flannery O’Connor gives some excellent advice: “Keep an open mind.  Keep it open toward faith, keep wanting it, keep asking for it, and leave the rest to God.”  Amen.  Come Holy Spirit!

            In Christ,

            Pastor Lynne Hutchison