Loving God, you call us into relationship with you and with one another, and you call many into relationship as husband and wife.  Strengthen all of us in your love as we gather together today, setting us free to love as you have first loved us, in Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

    There are many Christians who will tell you that the Bible is very cut and dried when it comes to divorce.  It is simply not permitted, and that’s that.  However, if we were to ask the question, “What does the Bible say about divorce?”, there are actually a number of different answers to that question.

    If we read the law of Moses, we find that a man can divorce his wife if “she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her” (Deut. 24:1).  Paul says that divorce is permitted in some instances, like when an unbelieving partner requests it (1 Cor. 7:15).  Jesus says that we are not to separate the two who have become one (Mk. 10:8-9).  However, in Matthew it is added that a spouse who has been unfaithful can rightfully be divorced (Mt. 19:9).  In Ezra, it is the sign of a good husband to divorce his foreign, and therefore unbelieving wife (Ezra 10:2-3, 44).  On the other hand, Paul says that it is the sign of a good spouse not to divorce his or her unbelieving mate (1 Cor. 7:12-13).  Finally, Joseph, who is described as a “righteous man,” feels that it is his duty to divorce Mary because of her perceived unfaithfulness (Mt. 1:19).

    So, all of that is what the Bible says about divorce.  Of course, for most Christians, they would tend to look at Jesus’ teaching in the gospels as the most important, which is what we heard in today’s gospel from Mark (10:2-12).  This is one of those instances where it is extremely helpful to know the background that goes with the gospel.

    You see, in Jesus’ day, according to the Jewish law, a man could divorce his wife for pretty much any reason.  If she looked at him the wrong way, or he didn’t like the way she dressed one day, or she burnt the toast once too often, a man could simply write her a certificate of divorce and kick her out of the house.  The woman would be left with no way to support herself and, having been shamed, would not be wanted by any other man.  And so, when Jesus speaks about divorce, his words are, first and foremost, good news for women who could be treated in this way.

    At the same time, you may have noticed in today’s gospel that women divorcing their husbands are also mentioned (Mk. 10:12).  This would have happened only under Greco-Roman law, and not under the Jewish law.  Those who divorce their spouse in order to marry somebody else are particularly spoken about here.  It is not acceptable to trade in your spouse for a better model, or to get rid of your current spouse because there’s another one waiting in the wings.  That’s where the adultery comes in.

    And so, what we have are the words from today’s gospel placed alongside other passages (even in the New Testament) where divorce seems to be acceptable in certain circumstances.  What are we to do with this?  I’d like to turn the question around for a moment and ask not what the Bible says about divorce, but rather, “What is God’s will for marriage?”

    The picture that we are given in the first reading that we heard today from Genesis (2:18-24) is one of partnership and companionship and intimacy that is so great that the two would become one flesh.  Human beings are created for relationship, and marriage is intended to be life-giving.  Woman is created, not from the head to be above, nor from the foot to be beneath, but from the rib to be beside.  The greatest intimacy and trust that we can imagine between two people should be found within the marriage relationship.  Of course, given human sinfulness and selfishness, this isn’t always true.  However, this is God’s intention for marriage.

    In the Scriptures we find passages about loving one another (Jn. 13:34), being subject to one another (Eph. 5:21), serving one another (Jn. 13:14), and loving your neighbour (or your spouse) as yourself (Eph. 5:28; Mt. 22:39).  These things actually have to do with all of our relationships, but are especially needed in order for anybody to have a life-giving marriage.

    Think about it for a moment: To know each other intimately - at your best and at your worst - and still love each other is a real gift.  To have respect and trust and love for one another - you simply can’t beat it!  To be able to serve one another, knowing that your spouse will do just as much and more for you is true joy and freedom.  This is the kind of marriage that is life-giving, but so often doesn’t happen because of human sinfulness.

    And so, a few things need to be said here.  First of all, a truly life-giving marriage happens when Jesus Christ is present and active in it – transforming and healing and bringing forgiveness and new life.  Secondly, there are times when a marriage becomes destructive or life-draining.  There are times when the health and well-being of one or both spouses are at stake.  There are times when divorce is the lesser of several possible evils.  Finally, I want to assure those of you who are not married that the Bible does not assume that all people will have a husband or wife.

    There is a particularly interesting chapter that Paul writes to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 7) where he gives them a number of directions concerning marriage.  I refer to this particularly for those of you who are not married.  In Paul’s estimation, those who are not married are better able to devote themselves to “the affairs of the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:32), rather than spending all of their time on the affairs of the world, being anxious about how to please their wife or their husband.  Paul also wishes that all would be as he is, implying that he is celibate and has no need for a wife.  However, he acknowledges that many are not able to control themselves and therefore should get married rather than “be aflame with passion” (1 Cor. 7:9).  Also, lest you think that it is only Paul who says these things, the gospel of Matthew says that some will not get married for the sake of the kingdom of God (Mt. 19:10-12).

    Ultimately, God is concerned about all of our relationships, and not just about marriage.  In fact, marriage and all other relationships are to be patterned after the kind of relationship that God wants to have with each one of us.  Our God knows us completely and intimately and loves us.  Our God gave his life for us through his Son, Jesus Christ.  Our God stands with open arms, ready to heal and to forgive.  Our God desires us to know him through Jesus Christ, and to love with all our heart and soul and strength.  Our God desires to give us life, and give it abundantly (Jn. 10:10)!  Thanks be to God!  Amen.

Lectionary 27(B)                                Mark 10:2-16
October 4, 2009                                Genesis 2:18-24
St. Luke’s Zion Lutheran Church
Pastor Lynne Hutchison

© 2009 Lynne Hutchison  All Rights Reserved